Retreat from the Seat! Beware the Chair! Ouch: The Couch!

Achtung! Beware! Chairs, sofas, couches, benches...anything that is designed for your seating "convenience"; they have been discovered as having joined the ranks of the dreaded Inanimate Objects!

Their M.O. is mysterious, new, and most deviously subtle. It would seem that they have discovered how to become MAGNETS, except, instead of attracting metal (and other magnets...imagine the chaos if all chairs etc. felt the sudden urge of "togetherness" and stuck together world wide!!! Oh the horror!) they attract - that's right - humans.

You stand up, try to make a graceful exit, then BAM, you suddenly find yourself up close and personal with an Inanimate Object of the Seating Kind, the result being, bumps, bruises, cuts and embarassment.

The only way to avoid this...CONSTANT VIGALENCE! (I've been re-reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire :p)