Inanimate Objects - the danger they pose
Inanimate Objects; they’re everywhere. They’re your computer, your school bag, your phone (which, though mobile is still at the same time inanimate because it needs your help in order to move around.)
…the list is never ending.
So why do we need protection from them? On the surface, they seem harmless, innocent, helpless even. I mean, they’re immobile! What possible risk can they pose?
This is where you need to start using your “I’s.”
Injury
Inconvenience.
Insurmountable Rage.
…and most importantly: Igloos.
Separately they are minor, insignificant (another “I” they use to their fiendish advantage) and unimportant, but when you look at the full pyramid, the repercussions begin to stack up.
Ever had a paper cut, or tripped over a stray book? Been waylaid by a computer failing to work, or a handle refusing to release? Had so many things go wrong that the rage starts to take you over? Thought of the word “Igloo” then wondered why??? This is by no mere accident or coincidence! What you have been subjected to is a cold, calculated and cruel attack, unleashed upon you by the union of the worlds Inanimate Objects.
Now, in no way are we saying that every single Inanimate Object in direct proximity is doing its utmost to thwart you – what we are saying is that they have the potential.
Some lie dormant, biding their time, while other are out there already doing their part “for the cause.” What we are trying to do here at PAIOC is to warn, inform, protect, and ultimately WIN. (force them to Withdraw, reclaim our “I’s” (most importantly igloos) and make the resistance No more)
The first step is to identify the threat – from there we decide where next to move.
So far, in terms of adversaries, we have discovered:
The Handle
The Amazing Leaping Straw
…and Stockings
Where the next threat comes from…who knows?
…the list is never ending.
So why do we need protection from them? On the surface, they seem harmless, innocent, helpless even. I mean, they’re immobile! What possible risk can they pose?
This is where you need to start using your “I’s.”
Injury
Inconvenience.
Insurmountable Rage.
…and most importantly: Igloos.
Separately they are minor, insignificant (another “I” they use to their fiendish advantage) and unimportant, but when you look at the full pyramid, the repercussions begin to stack up.
Ever had a paper cut, or tripped over a stray book? Been waylaid by a computer failing to work, or a handle refusing to release? Had so many things go wrong that the rage starts to take you over? Thought of the word “Igloo” then wondered why??? This is by no mere accident or coincidence! What you have been subjected to is a cold, calculated and cruel attack, unleashed upon you by the union of the worlds Inanimate Objects.
Now, in no way are we saying that every single Inanimate Object in direct proximity is doing its utmost to thwart you – what we are saying is that they have the potential.
Some lie dormant, biding their time, while other are out there already doing their part “for the cause.” What we are trying to do here at PAIOC is to warn, inform, protect, and ultimately WIN. (force them to Withdraw, reclaim our “I’s” (most importantly igloos) and make the resistance No more)
The first step is to identify the threat – from there we decide where next to move.
So far, in terms of adversaries, we have discovered:
The Handle
The Amazing Leaping Straw
…and Stockings
Where the next threat comes from…who knows?
posted by Elizabeth at 5:46 pm
15 Comments:
thanks for conferming that elizabeth! i got cds yay... are they inanimate?
i guess so, but i think they're one of the biding their time type IO's, coz unless the case is biting your hand, or the CD is scratched, they dont do that much.
also on the list are
-shoelaces
-stilettos
-clippers [like, garden clippers]
we find that apparel has a high presence in the vicious IO 'club', which is why we at PAIOC want to have a seperate 'apparel' section :P hehe
I would also like to add extra evidence by pointing out that the computer/program would not allow me to centre some of my text, the result of which is, not a pyramid, but instead, a right angled triangle!!! (though this does mean fun with pythagorus, so we'll give it that)
right... yes apparel is a big part isnt it!
yes lets talk about maths *cough cough*... or not...
I can understand the handle, the straw, the shoelaces and the clippers, but my stockings and stillettos haaven't given me that much trouble.
Yet.
im ok with a stillettos but not stockings...if uv seen my toes ull understand
How can you be ok with stillettos???
1) They put your feet on an unnatural angle
2) They have pointy heels. Physics shows us that this makes it more painful. So who makes shoes that do this??
3) They are easier to fall over in and so cause injury.
4) You could puncture someones foot.
5) They can ruin polished floorboards.
6) I've run out of steam so pfft to Stillettos.
:P
they r good coz they look formalish... and they are pointy and if someone annoys u u can stab then in the foot!
Or you can crack them in the head.. When I was doing my first Aid course, the nurse said that she had to treat someone at schoolies who had pissed off a girl who'd then cracked his skull open with her stilletto...
Ok so they are a useful weapon. That doesn't change the fact that they are also a weapon against yourself and the safety of your feet...
schmeh i loved doing first aid it was the best... we heard all of the strange stories as well it was excellent! yes but they r a legal weapon!
Hello elizabeth, CJ and Sez!
I kno that at 1 point in time i promised u guys that id visit... and now i have! Nice work. Give u 10/10!
P.S I took ur quiz, and discovered that i am a piece of jewellry... how interesting, considering im completely obsessed with the stuff. I guess i should consider future purchases from now on, eh? :)
hey louise now that uv commented will u join??
Hmm...so I think it may be time to comment...or something. Ah! The joys of twelveliness!
i have a new one! DAMNED crowbars. they seem so nice, so innocent, so.... user friendly, but NO! under that false, secure-feeling-inducing surface, they are EVIL. they are so horrible infact, that they actually BITE out and give you MASSIVE blisters. but one is not enough, it has to be TWO! argh!
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