Inanimate Objects - the danger they pose

Inanimate Objects; they’re everywhere. They’re your computer, your school bag, your phone (which, though mobile is still at the same time inanimate because it needs your help in order to move around.)

…the list is never ending.

So why do we need protection from them? On the surface, they seem harmless, innocent, helpless even. I mean, they’re immobile! What possible risk can they pose?

This is where you need to start using your “I’s.”

Injury
Inconvenience.
Insurmountable Rage.
…and most importantly: Igloos.

Separately they are minor, insignificant (another “I” they use to their fiendish advantage) and unimportant, but when you look at the full pyramid, the repercussions begin to stack up.

Ever had a paper cut, or tripped over a stray book? Been waylaid by a computer failing to work, or a handle refusing to release? Had so many things go wrong that the rage starts to take you over? Thought of the word “Igloo” then wondered why??? This is by no mere accident or coincidence! What you have been subjected to is a cold, calculated and cruel attack, unleashed upon you by the union of the worlds Inanimate Objects.

Now, in no way are we saying that every single Inanimate Object in direct proximity is doing its utmost to thwart you – what we are saying is that they have the potential.

Some lie dormant, biding their time, while other are out there already doing their part “for the cause.” What we are trying to do here at PAIOC is to warn, inform, protect, and ultimately WIN. (force them to Withdraw, reclaim our “I’s” (most importantly igloos) and make the resistance No more)

The first step is to identify the threat – from there we decide where next to move.

So far, in terms of adversaries, we have discovered:

The Handle

The Amazing Leaping Straw

…and Stockings

Where the next threat comes from…who knows?